Sunday, March 25, 2012

smirk t adkins

my dad had a birthday this past weekend. i wanted to post something ON st. patty's day, the day of his actual birth, but i suck and am doing it a week later. you can assume i was too drunk to get it together on st. patty's day if you'd like.

anyhoo, my dad is better than your dad, first off. my dad introduced me to mel brooks and america. not the country, the awesome folk band. probably. he's always been there for me and always takes my side in an argument. that may not have been the best plan since it gave me an over inflated ego, but it's nice to know you can complain to someone who will immediately take your side.

however, one of my favorite aspects of my awesome dad (jump on board, if you knew him, you'd agree. he's a buckeye for crying out loud), is how he'll totally lie right to your face to prank you. since his daughter is SUPER gullible, i got lied to a lot as a child. it was always something hilarious or unbelievable; something i should have realized was untrue.

one of my favorite stories about me and my dad is when he tricked me into thinking that the english language was invented by a guy named "johnny english", a literary genius. i'm assuming we were talking about the origin of language in general and my dad saw an opportunity not to be missed.

the key to successfully pulling one over on me was the complete, unwavering confidence that came with delivering a line of total bullshit. that's what did it. he told me "johnny english" invented the english language with the same ease one would use to talk about tonight's dinner.

at first i didn't believe him. surely, i would have learned that my language was invented by some dude. at some point in my history classes someone, somewhere would have mentioned that this guy named johnny came up with our language. he would have a special day or something like lincoln or mlk. but tolkien  invented a language didn't he? so it's not so out there that this gentleman sat down one day and came up with the whole english language. i don't pay attention anyway, so maybe i just missed it.

then i remembered that my dad majored in history and he would probably know, wouldn't he? growing up my dad always had all kinds of trivia to share about american history. he knew all of the presidents in order for crying out loud, who does that? there's also the inherent family trust factor:

 i would really like to tell you i was young when i fell for this story. maybe if i was 4 or 8, it could be seen as cute and not embarrassingly hilarious. if i remember correctly, i was a freshman in college. maybe, if i want to give myself 3 more months, the summer before my freshman year.

no one should be that sickeningly gullible.

happy way belated birthday dad!