there are several things in my life i like to declare as facts and that's that. since i don't have suckfest facebook anymore and twitter is for retards, i decided to lump them all in this one post.
it's always sunny in philadelphia is the funniest, bestest show out there. it's also a super accurate representation of the people of philadelphia. everyone in philly is a sociopathic dick like mac, dennis, dee and charlie.
spaghetti squash is gross. stop trying to get me to eat it, america.
(which goes in line with fact #2) crescent rolls that come from a tube are not food. stop showing me gross ass recipes using crescent rolls, internet. (i'm looking at you, pinterest...)
benjamin franklin is the king of badasses. KING.
putting food on a stick is fucking lame. if you ever hand me food on a stick and it's not a kabob or we're not at the fair, then i will give you an earful. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, CAKEPOPS.
when i clean my bitch cat's litter box she likes to sit and stare at me by her food dish as if to let me know how futile my actions really are...