fact #1:
it's always sunny in philadelphia is the funniest, bestest show out there. it's also a super accurate representation of the people of philadelphia. everyone in philly is a sociopathic dick like mac, dennis, dee and charlie.
fact #2:
spaghetti squash is gross. stop trying to get me to eat it, america.
fact #3:
(which goes in line with fact #2) crescent rolls that come from a tube are not food. stop showing me gross ass recipes using crescent rolls, internet. (i'm looking at you, pinterest...)
fact #4:
benjamin franklin is the king of badasses. KING.
fact #5:
putting food on a stick is fucking lame. if you ever hand me food on a stick and it's not a kabob or we're not at the fair, then i will give you an earful. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, CAKEPOPS.
fact #6:
when i clean my bitch cat's litter box she likes to sit and stare at me by her food dish as if to let me know how futile my actions really are...
